BIG FISH, SMALL POND?

THE ART OF LOOKING UP

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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the people around me. Not only about how they shape me, but maybe even more, about how much I shape them.

S kim si, takav si. This one Serbian saying roughly translates to:

You become who you surround yourself with.

It has accompanied me throughout my entire upbringing and to this day, I hear the voice of my dad saying it to me. And while I always understood what he was telling me, I only recently realized what it actually means.

There’s this concept in neuroscience called neural coupling. It describes what happens when two people truly connect in conversation: your brain literally starts syncing with theirs. It begins to mirror their patterns, their emotions, and their way of thinking. As neuroscientists sometimes put it, your brain is going to sync up with their brain frequencies.

And once your brain recognizes a pattern, it loves efficiency. It understands the pattern and reuses it.

Which basically means nothing less than that the people around you slowly become part of your internal software.

So if that’s true, I wondered: Who am I allowing to write parts of my code?

I’ve realized how incredibly important it is to have people around you who motivate you. The ones who cheer you up and always have your back. But even more importantly, it’s about surrounding yourself with people who inspire you. The ones who make your eyes light up after you’ve shared a thought that suddenly feels like it could become a vision. People who make your ideas feel bigger. Who don’t just clap when you’ve already done the thing, but who make you want to start before you’ve even figured out how.

I love my people. I love my bubble. I would walk through fire for every single one of them.

But if I’m being completely honest, there’s always been this quiet pessimism floating through so many conversations. Maybe it’s a German thing. Maybe it’s everyone’s own baggage. Maybe it’s fear. I don’t know.

About a week ago, I met Ignacia. Now that I’m living in Barcelona, I get to experience something I probably wouldn’t have experienced back home: a completely new circle. New people. New ways of thinking, communicating, and approaching life.

Over wine, cheese, grapes, and chips, we talked for hours. One topic, though, kept coming back: A potential Passion Project.

There was ambition. Curiosity. Drive.

No one was asking whether something would work. Everyone was asking how.

That energy stayed with me long after she went home.

Recently, quite a few people have told me that I inspire them. That I should be proud of what I’m building. That there aren’t many people like me.

But I don’t think that’s true.

I think we simply become similar to the pond we choose to swim in.

Some ponds are full of people who dream. Others are full of people who explain why dreaming is unrealistic.

And more often than not, we get to choose. Maybe not overnight. But eventually.

I’m starting to realize how good it feels to have people I can genuinely look up to.

I know that sounds arrogant. It isn‘t. It‘s honest.

I’m fully aware that growth requires your own vision. Your own discipline. Your own willingness to keep going when nobody believes in you.

But I’ve come to the conclusion that in order to truly envision something, you also need people who understand that vision before it exists.

People who make impossible things feel strangely normal.

I’ve always been someone with a thousand ideas. I’m constantly moving. Constantly curious. Always willing to take another path.

But it takes me a long time before I truly commit to one thing.

And sometimes I wonder whether that would look different if the pond I was swimming in looked different.

If I were surrounded by people who don’t immediately search for reasons why something won’t work.

Germany often feels like a country built on caution. Anxiety disguised as responsibility. Playing it safe disguised as common sense.

Maybe that’s exactly why choosing differently feels almost revolutionary.

A tiny rebellion against everything we’ve been taught.

Shouldn’t we all feel worthy enough to at least try?

Because while I’m sitting in my favorite café around the corner, writing this blog post on my laptop, there’s another version of me I sometimes think about.

The one who stayed. The one who slowly disappeared inside an office. Inside a city that drained her until there was barely anything left. That version could have stayed my reality. It just didn’t.

So yes. We all carry our own baggage.

But with enough self-respect, enough courage, and enough belief in ourselves, we get the chance to bloom in places that don’t just admire our dreams.

They build them with us.

So if you’d ask me for my humble opinion, I‘d tell you to be one of those people.

The person others leave feeling bigger after they’ve spent time with you. The friend whose excitement is contagious. The one who inspires.

And just as importantly - find people who are the same for you.

Be the glitch in the matrix.

Be ridiculously excited about this one life we’re privileged enough to live. Respect yourself enough to actually give your dreams a chance. Little by little. Step by step.

And as we say in Serbian: Kol‘ko tol’ko.